sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
