I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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