We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
