her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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