What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize