Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
