He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
