besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
