where am i from again
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize