I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize