It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
