Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
