No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
