What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
