Im at strip club and am horny
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
