I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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