Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
