listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
