I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
