You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
