How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
