The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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