I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
