I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
