I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We have started to decorate penises.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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