it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
