He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
