i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
