is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
