Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
