Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
