I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
her facebook's as public as her vagina
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize