i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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