Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
bring money and cleavage
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
