my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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