all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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