Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
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