I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
3 2 1 whiskey
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
