I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i believe in u and ur pee
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