What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
