Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
