i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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