Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
