You're my little dorito
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
