its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
