Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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