fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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