I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
