How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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