That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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