So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
