I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
