He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
