By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
