I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
