absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
