You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
