I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
