unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
