Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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