two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
