Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
it's great music for shaving your balls
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
