around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
