I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
