Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
