I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
