This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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