Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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