giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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