If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
