Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
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