Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
