Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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