Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
