Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
and you fell through a lawn chair
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
