I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
