Its about making memories worth repressing
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
