yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
